Thank you to all of you for all the previous encouraging words and faith in me. All of these happened some 7 months ago and I am really really absolutely positively perfectly dandy now. It was just an experience I wanted to share with three girls in particular that are going through the same rough patch that I went through before and of course to share it with other people.
Often my lack of empathy reflects on myself as a whole, as a being – that I am dramatic, and that I am unappreciative and I kiss and tell. People talk, they gossip and they judge, everyone does in some ways or another. These are inevitable – it’s human nature. Nonetheless, I was not being melodramatic or depressed (as some said) and did not exaggerate one bit of my previous note. Until you go through it you have no fucking idea.
Because it was not just about losing my job and being betrayed – it was more than that, I lost hopes, I lost my self-confidence, I lost my parents’ trust, expectations and reliability. I disappointed them so much. I lost my career as a young graduate from a prestigiously famous multinational company. I deemed to be irresponsible and unsuccessful. I was dropped from hundred thousand feet to zilch. I was everywhere but no where.
Then I struggled a few months – interviews after interviews, applications after applications – pulled me down by miles and I was on the verge of giving up, not because I wanted to but the whole fiasco finally dawned on me. Granted, after those depressing ‘holidays’ for months, I now know where I should be. I am finally happy and contented with my life. It may not be a roses of bed – I may not have the best of everything, but ideally I have what I want and what I need, – a job, sense of security and the motivation to go on.
All not for my strength and determination – much due to all those countless support and guidance from dear loves around me – my family and friends. It’s amazing how those little text from people lift your spirit up. From there, I knew who my friends are and where I stand.
When somebody whines and moans about something not having done, think about it, is the person talking for the sake of talking, is the person creating more unnecessary drama for himself and has the person actually action what he was accountable for?
Resilience sprung me back to the world of reality. After all, I know I am still young and instead of sitting around crying for dear life expecting a miracle to happen, stringing to unspoken words, shouldn’t I gather myself and strive for it?
So please my dear girls, stop being addicted to the drama. Stop being melancholic to those bullshit. I know the pain and hurt are as addictive as heroin but what is the fucking point? I know you have the perfect imaginative script – one to define and express your outrage but what is the point? The zillions of apologies are never just yet because all is talk, non are actioned. No matter how many sorries you hear and how painful it is to let memories fly, you will have to fucking slave yourself out of that high. There is absolutely no use whatsoever to think of venge, to cure that little angst in you – as that would only degrade what little dignity you have left after all the humiliation and agony you had to withstand.
What will you get from hurting the person? Do you seriously think you will get the ‘real’ explanation? Do you think the person will feel even half the pain you are enduring? – let alone the unrequited love you have. No one that truly loves you will push you to walls of no return – chasing circles. So stop beating yourself and stop fighting a losing battle.. you will only pay for more provocation than happiness.
Channel your energy on better things not on lost cause. Focus on the bigger issues ie work. Go out, have fun – pack your conscience with you. Get to know yourself – what do you really want? I know you are emotionally vulnerable, subconsciously disillusioned and have the littlest of strength to go on but if you don’t help yourself, no one will be able to.
People are born to be selfish, many at the cost of your expense – they rob your happiness and bury their sorrows – to exchange what they desire not caring about people around them for so they claim they love. Hey, it is about time you learn to care about yourself and appreciate the ones in front of you.
I have overlooked one person during my moment of ‘desperation for answers’ – and I am regretting every ounce of it. So don’t be like me and slap yourself hard and wake the fuck up. YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY FROM THIS.
When you have woken up, you know where I am – because I am all arms and ears and legs to let you cry.
My mum often tells me – perseverance and resilience is the key to succeed. It’s like those bobo dolls – no matter how they are pushed and wrestled – they will always bounce back, and that is exactly what you need to do. Bounce back and prove to yourself – you are not that weakling you think you are.
Your efforts are not held in reprimand, don’t ever get disheartened because I am always here. I was once there – I know. I am here always – praying generously that your decision is what a blessing may follow.
