my texts

I text Neil

“Hi Neil, we haven’t spoken for a while.. u ok? I really dislike this cold war..”

and

“Hey. Yeah good thanks.. busy as usual but having a lot of fun with it too. The cold weather is pants although i made it to london on monday.. nobody from zavvi did tho..ha. how are you? missing mummy?”

and that is the end to my relationship.

i feel like crying then laughing really hard.. because I can’t decide what to feel and what to be like. I don’t want to convince myself because it will only make it harder.

i’ve been through worse and I pulled myself out of it. but yet i’m back in the cycle i was a year ago. nojob,nolove,notrust.

perhaps, that is the end to it and no words should be said.

but i don’t understand how can he leave it like that.